Dear ABBY: Seventeen years ago, I had a mental breakdown. For the first three years after that, my husband stood by me. The drugs they prescribed made me gain more than 100 pounds. I’ve tried diets, to no avail. I suggested that maybe we could hold each other and see where it took us. His response was: “I’m not attracted to you anymore. You knew when we got married that I wasn’t attracted to bigger (fat) women. Since then, I no longer respect and appreciate him. He has his room and I have mine on the other side of the house. We do absolutely nothing together.
When he comes to my bedroom, he doesn’t knock. When I have to go through his room, I always knock. He said, “This is my house too, and I don’t knock.” I can’t stand his arrogant ways. I still have to pretend we’re married, but I don’t feel it. He calls me “baby”. I have expressed that I have no interest in pretending and I have asked him not to call me that.
I am on a fixed income. All my retirement money is invested in this house and property. I pay all the bills. We haven’t had sex in 14 years. I am lonely for male company. I don’t know how much longer I can live like this, even though he didn’t leave when I needed him the most. Please advise. – NUMBER IN ALABAMA
HONORED NUMBER: It has been 17 years since you were prescribed the medications you took and there may have been improvements in the intervening years. Contact the doctor who prescribed them and ask if there is something newer that will allow you to lose some of the weight you have not been able to lose. It may help if you explain what those drugs have done to the state of your marriage.
If medication isn’t an option, you’ll need to decide how important male companionship is to you, because you may need to find it elsewhere. Consult an attorney and ask what you would end up with if the house were sold and the money split. After that, you may be in a better position to explore your options.
Dear ABBY: My husband of 20 years had two children with his first wife. (I don’t have any.) One of his children, who doesn’t respond to any voicemails, emails or texts from us, now has two children under the age of 5 from his second marriage. They live less than an hour away. My husband and I saw the youngest child once, almost a year ago. It was the last time we saw my husband’s son and his children. My husband has seen his grandchildren less than four times in four years. Do you have any suggestions on how to repair this emotional disconnect? – INDEPENDENT IN MARYLAND
HONORABLE UNWORTHY: Has your husband told his son that he would like to have a closer relationship with him and his family? When exactly did this departure begin? So you know what caused it? Once you have the answers to these questions, if an apology is required, your husband should offer it verbally, in writing, or in person. The ball will then be in your stepfather’s court.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
#Dear #Abby #gained #pounds #husband #longer #attracted
Image Source : nypost.com